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Monday, November 28

monthly entry...november

well, it's official. all i seem to manage is a monthly entry. how pathetic!! let's see, been a good month i think. ticked off thanksgiving without too much drama as is usually typical for my family. now gearing up for christmas. absolutely disgusted with the way people have gone wacko over shopping etc. what happened to a few simple gifts? and just plain, old-fashioned carols and lights and snow on the ground. decorated trees and hot chocolate or cider. i seem to be lost in another era that i wasn't even really part of but feel i can fantasize about as if i was. hmmm...the good old days, right? i suppose it is what you make of it. i intend to not lose sight of the important stuff. anyway, i'm off to see what everyone else has been writing about. here's to a very merry christmas!

Sunday, October 30

crap...it's october

not only that but it's the end of october! time certainly does fly. it's been a busy (in a good way) month...culminating with the breeder's cup races yesterday at belmont. a fantastic day of racing. probably a bit too much drinking though as i am suffering terribly today...especially given my recently turned old age of thirty-five. oh god! i almost can't believe it but it's true. and it gets harder and harder to recover from these occasions. still, had a wonderful time (trying to focus on that). anyway, this is a short one. i want to get to catching up on some other people's blogs. will write more soon. wish someone could tell me if trick-or-treating is tonight. i suppose i'll find out...

Saturday, September 24

monthly entry?

sure enough...i've done it again. busy, busy and no time to blog. ok, i haven't made time to blog. whatever the case, let me catch up. first off, the new job. it's been five weeks and i'm still feeling very awkward and unsure of the whole thing. i have moments i want to go running back to bedside nursing, as i was doing before. back when i felt confident and sure of myself. i miss that terribly. and now that i've had a break, i find myself missing taking care of people and feeling good about what i'm doing. research is arguably still doing good but in a much less tangible, direct way. and i've come to find a lot people actually have a very negative attitude about it. but how do we come up with new and better ways to treat people? it's not by magic. so, i have these little talks with myself regularly about how i'm not a sell-out, i'm still contributing etc. somehow though, i get this nasty used-car-salesman sort of vibe and it's very distasteful. i'm sure all of this will get better. i need to be patient and give it time, right? well, i've spilled that out, haven't i? on a brighter note, have i mentioned i am going to see U2 again october 16th? i'm just realizing that's only a few weeks away. and then breeder's cup the end of the month. very cool. fall is my favorite time of year. there's a lot going on in the next month or so for me. thank god. it's so nice to have things to look forward to and keep you busy. so, i expect another entry here in say november? (ha ha). hopefully not that long...that's it for now though. hope everyone out there is doing well.

Saturday, August 20

long time...

well, it has been a long time! didn't realize quite how long until i just saw the date on my last post. my excuse? started that new job i had been deliberating over for so long. takes a lot out of you...anxieties, the newness of it all, trying to assimilate/process tons of new information at a rapid pace. in all fairness, the pace is my doing. i've not been pressured in any way. in fact, my new boss is very laid back about my orientation which is great. everyone understands it takes time to get the hang of things etc. it's just me wanting to quickly return to some feeling of competence as i am totally a fish out of water at the moment. people say that's good though...to push yourself outside the comfort zone (that's the lingo, right?). i suppose i agree but when you're in that initial phase, it's sometimes hard to appreciate that it's actually a good thing. i'm sure in a month or so i'll be able to have better perspective on this. so, haven't really had time to blog which is a shame since i doubt i'll ever develop much of a sense of community here with my lack of consistency but i'll still hope for the best.

Saturday, July 30

saturday afternoon

very productive day so far and now around 3:30pm, have hit a lull...a dip in my energy level. that afternoon time when ideally, you'd take a nap. i don't actually have the time today but naps are really underrated, aren't they? if i can take a nap, i will. it's definitely one of my most favorite things to do. in fact, i just love being in bed. reading in bed, watching tv in bed, so many enjoyable things to do in bed...if you know what i mean. it's a fabulous haven. now, don't misunderstand. i'm an active person. i'm not saying i just lay around all day in my bed (is it lay or lie, i never got that grammar rule down pat). i'm only saying, i really appreciate my time between the sheets. nothing wrong with that, right?

Sunday, July 24

puppies and children

nonstop. without an end. the little puppy has been driving me crazy. if he isn't chewing a leg of furniture, he's trying to chew mine. or a plant, or a lamp cord, or really any object in sight. his leash, my clothes, a shoe. and then in his excitement, he pees on the carpet. i yell at him, he barks at me. max, no. max, no. max, no. there is no relief from max. i do give him credit for his zest for life. it's wonderful if only it could be harnessed. his mother, also my mother, returns wednesday night. that's three more days (yes, i'm counting). but maybe this has been good. i have seriously reconsidered any thoughts of having children in the process which means i can now be satisfied with my single life more fully without nagging pangs of empty nest regrets. i don't think i could take it! although, i never felt like this in the fourteen years i had my beloved lab jake...so perhaps no major decisions should be based on max's behavior. he's exceptional. still, the experience has been disturbing enough to warrent a new appreciation for freedom!

Tuesday, July 19

been a while...

it's official...i have accepted the position on the critical care research team. i am released from my current position august 14th. i can always visit boston, right? yes, i'm pretty sure it'll still be there. as for the new job, i'm looking forward to getting started. some ambivalence about leaving the bedside but there you have it. i'm sure that's only natural. and for that matter, the bedside will always be there as well. so, we shall see. otherwise, i am puppy-sitting at the moment and going out of my mind with the little guy. he is full of unbounding energy, knows no manners, and will try to bite at anything in his path...shoes, carpet, your ankles. trying desperately to be patient with him. thinking i may be closer to understanding shaken baby syndrome. oh, but he is cute and of course, cannot really be held responsible for his lack of training (he is only two months old). the real problem lies with my mother who adopted this lab/boarder collie mix a week before going off to iceland for ten days on vacation with dad. this to me is very bad planning. i'm a bit annoyed but saw no way to refuse taking care of him while they're gone as they always helped me out with my jake over the years. only, he was never such unbelievable high-maintenance!! oh well. i'm counting down the days and working on a vigorous exercise program for the little bugger. that should do it.